Social Media Used To Be Fun

Lots of angry, aggressive social media posts and replies out there lately.

Social media can be like a pocket-sized flea market hosting thousands of events, ideas, solicitations, and hot messes – all at the tips of our fingers and thumbs – social media is an evolving concept of nondescript rules, or boundaries – every online adventure is layered with pets, politics, photos, pulpits, plans, passions, positions, platforms, press releases and points of view – “you never know what you are going to get” (Forest Gump), until its too late to divert your eyes.

My 100% absolute favorite aspect of social media is connections with friends and family – some of them are scattered all over the world – their lives are in perpetual flex mode, changing all the time – social media helps everyone keep up with each other – special emphasis (for me) on topics of grandchildren, successes, celebrations, and invitations to help others – these are important connections – “Friendship is everything…   …its almost the equal of family” (Don Corleone)

Truth be told, friends and family can also present challenges on social media – like it or not, our friends and family are really reflections of ourselves – we feed, or fall for some of the same mental monsters – so, when that crazy friend or family member pops up into your social media feed, remember social media is a volunteer activity – “you wanted cake, you got cake. Now eat it” (Agatha Trunchbull).

Friends and family are only one feature of the expansive social media experience – on that note, consider some of the following (nonscientific) ideas when posting or engaging on social media:

1 – Be relevant, interesting, or trigger natural connections within your social media circles – there are no real rules, but it helps if your post, or reply makes sense and connects to your people – “have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener (Neal Page).

2 – Note to self – my biggest personal social media flaw – I ramble – its true, I run off at the social media mouth way too much – nobody likes a thousand words of anything on social media – always consider the depth and breadth of a post or reply – “You can rob me, you can starve me…and you can beat me, and you can even kill me. Just don’t bore me” (Gunny Highway).

3 – As tempting as it is to dive in, there are people on social media who just prefer their own personal dumpster fire – no matter what they say, they really don’t want to be helped, counseled, or advised off their private crazy train – it’s okay, love them, listen to them, and let them be – “because some people are immune to good advice” (Saul Goodman).

4 – Listen (read) more attentively – reciprocity is the foundation of effective engagement, and encouragement – sometimes it’s a good idea to put our brains into neutral, and just be along for the ride – we are so quick to correct, redirect, and filter each other – this is not my strong suit, but I certainly appreciate it when someone offers me this consideration – “No talking. Never let anyone know what you are thinking” (Michael Corleone)

5 – Respect and value posts and replies – these are our friends, people we selected to hear from, right? We will never agree on everything, but we can certainly have respect and regard for each other – don’t put each other “on blast” by exploiting or abusing their posts or replies – it’s easy to participate in public conflict – but, it takes humility, kindness and real brains to apply restraint – address your friends privately – we might even learn something from each other – “…some people without brains do an awful lot of talking don’t they?” (Scarecrow, of Qz fame).

6 – We all like to be correct – we like to achieve a ‘win’ in front of a social media audience – often times we’ll take social media exchanges to extremes, lasting for days, and eventually losing friends – the ‘all or nothing’ mentality is insane – truthfully, no one wins – the real win, is to keep the relationship – “…you had gone totally insane, and your methods were unsound” (CPT Ben Willard) – is the argument surrounding a post really worth the losing contact with a loved one?

7 – Sure, it feels fun to crush someone online – but, actually it’s just a quick hit of dopamine that feels good, or fun – the more crushing we do, the more dopamine we get – the more we repeat the process, the more we’re motivated to continue the process – truthfully, at that point, we’re no more than a lab-rat preforming for a chemical reward – short term pleasure at a long term cost – at times, all of us could use a mental intervention to help break the cycle, and move on – “…stop focusing on the darkness behind you. The past is the past.” (Walter White) – focus on sustaining relationships, integrity, kindness, and things of value – as ‘Boy Scoutish’ as it sounds, seek things with long-term value, verses a short-term chemical fix – ignore the lying voices in our heads, or the number of ‘likes’ we have accumulated – “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain” (The Wizard of Oz).

8 – We are all different – we all need different methods to help us govern our online behavior – one idea, consider asking a friend or family member to step in if they see us going down a destructive path – someone we trust – someone we will naturally listen to if they ping us – accountability is key for any personal behavior – it might be helpful to have a social media gatekeeper – “I am the Gatekeeper” (Dana Barrett).

Finally, consider a theme or objective for social media accounts – something positive or uplifting – something helpful and beneficial to others – a constant reminder for us to remain above the fray and muckety muck of online conflict – something others will see and connect to us – maybe something that best suits our personalities, place in life or posture:

 “Where there is kindness, there is goodness – where there is goodness, there is magic” (Cinderella)

“Bread, that this house may never know hunger. Salt, that life may always have flavor. And wine, that joy and prosperity may reign forever.” (Mary Hatch Bailey)

“Don’t be a jerk” (Spongebob)

Have fun with it – social media used to be fun…